A Girl's Best Friend....Or Friends.

I started getting all sentimental as I ended my post about friendship after kids.  I really am lucky to have some fantastic friends.  Many of my girlfriends are ones I've had since I was young, and others I've met along the way.  And while we've all become busy and wrapped up in our own lives, we still stay in touch as much as possible and try to be there for each other when it matters most.

As I think of my girlfriends, I think about who I go to for what.  I am pretty sure we all have friends who play different roles in our lives.  See if you can figure out who fits where in your life.

I'd still be wearing this!

I have the friend who keeps me looking presentable.  She's still on top of what's trendy and stylish, and which outfit is appropriate for which occasion.  Now, what's equally important about this friend is that she will be honest about whether a dress is too slutty for a daytime wedding, if my new shirt shows too much boob (or not enough, depending on the occasion), if the blouse I bought for my high school reunion is stylin' enough, if I should wear boots or heels, if a tank shows muffin top, and if a pair of jeans looks too Mom-jeans-y (yes, that's a word).  Indispensable friend.

I have the friend who is my go-to recipe friend.  I need to bring something to a party, and I want it to WOW everyone there.  Do I bring a dessert?  An app?  This friend will know just what to bring, the dish that no one is making yet, but will be in the next few months.  You know the friend, she was making the 7 layer Mexican dip before everyone was making the 7 layer Mexican dip.  She first discovered the cookies in the mini muffin tins, with the Reeses peanut butter cup squished in the middle, before you saw them at every bake sale.  She's my go-to for quick, easy and talk-about-it-on-Monday recipes.

Don't we all worry about our
kids every once in a while?

I have the friend who I run all my Mom stuff by.  She has kids, she works with kids, she knows kids.  And she's a bestie.  She's the one I talk to when my son decides he wants to wear his pajama bottoms on his head to Home Depot and deep down I'm worried that somethings wrong with him (just fyi ... pajamas on the head don't seem to indicate any sort of diagnosis ... at least not until he's in his 20's and then there may be an issue or addiction to address).  She's the one I call when I notice my son has funky toes and I start to worry he will end up alone because no girl likes a guy with funky feet (she assures me he'll find someone).  She's the one I talk to when I feel badly about breaking my diet, and assures me that I'm not overweight, it must be leftover baby weight (I know my kids are almost 5, wise ass ...what of it?) and not to worry because she just finished off the ice cream in her freezer.  She's the one who says, "No, you don't yell at your kids too much", "Yes, it's normal to lock yourself in the bathroom and cry every once in a while" (What?  You don't do that?), "No, everyone wears their maternity clothes every now and then", "You should totally buy yourself a new pocketbook, you deserve it, you're always buying the kids' stuff" and "Having 2 boys will be great! No, they won't forget you on holidays.  I will always call them before Mother's Day and your birthday to make sure they call/send you a card/buy you a gift.  It will be OK.  I promise.  Stop crying.  Please, stop crying."  What would I do without her?

I have my oldest bestie.  The friend who knows all my deepest, darkest secrets.  She knows how I really feel about everything and everyone.  She knows that if, God forbid, anything should ever happen to me, she needs to go to my house and get rid of anything I wouldn't want my Mom to find.  We all have that friend, right?  You trust her with your life and your heart.  I think my sister-in-law bestie told me a story about 2 friends who had boxes of embarrassing/personal stuff with their BFF's name on it so that if anything happened, anyone who found it would assume it was their BFF's box and/or return it to their BFF without even looking inside.  This way, if anyone looked inside and was horrified by what they found, they would think it was the BFF's stuff, not theirs!  Brilliant!  Now THAT'S friendship!

I have the work bestie.  Whether you work full time or part time, you have that friend who can relate, good or bad with what you go through 4 - 8 hours per day.  You chat about all the office gossip and commiserate about there being no Splenda in the kitchen.  You don't necessarily get together outside of work, but while you are work, there's almost nothing you won't share.  When they're not there, you notice right away, and if (gasp!) they give their 2 week notice, you're devastated.  How will you get through the day?  Who will you email back and forth with, til you get a message from Outlook saying you've reached capacity in your inbox, please delete any unnecessary emails?  Who will you "office diet" with, while ordering cheeseburger clubs from the delicious yet greasy restaurant down the street?  Who will you roll your eyes at during meetings?

I have the friend who I would talk to 15 times a day. The phone would ring and Chris would know it was her immediately.  And he would wonder what the hell we had to talk about since the last time we spoke, 25 minutes ago.  Whatever, what did he know?  We don't speak 15 times per day now, but when we do speak, it's like we just spoke 25 minutes ago.  And yes, it is still about very important stuff.  Very important.  To us.

I have the friend who is my therapist.  This poor thing, gets me at my worst.  Sometimes she's lucky enough to get me at my best ... when I'm funny and witty and smart and beautiful.... ahem, where was I? But other times she gets me when I'm cranky, bitchy or crying.  And she always says the right thing.  It doesn't matter if I am being completely irrational.  It doesn't matter if I'm wrong (which is really never the case).  It doesn't matter who I'm talking about, she's automatically on my side, agreeing with me, bitching with me and plotting revenge with me.  I bet you wish you had a vengeful therapist like I do!

Still friends to this day!

I have my oldest friends who I talk about with my kids, and say, "X, Y, Z and I have been friends since we were 4, like you!"  We used to live in the same neighborhood and our Dad's used to pass us up and over the fence, walk us around the block or down the street.  Then I half smile and half cry at how different life is now.  I think about the friends my boys have now and hope that in 30+ years, they are still in touch with a few of them.  I drive by our neighborhood and point out where we lived and remember the fun we had back in the day.  We would play kick the can, flashlight tag, hide and seek, have lemonade stands and sell pet rocks.  Sigh .....

I have my blog buds too ... friends I've made since starting My Twin*tastic Life.  Friends who have been supportive and honest.  Friends who have so patiently answered my silly questions about how to get rid of this line, or add that line.  Friends who have missed me when I've been gone, and welcomed me back when I resurfaced.

I have the friend who acted as my significant other when neither of us had one.  We spent weekends together shopping, eating, going to the movies, eating, looking for love, eating, exercising, eating less ... you get my drift.  It was kind of like Eat, Pray, Love, but just the eating part.  In Massachusetts.

I have the Facebook friends.  Don't we all?  I have the ones I was so excited to re-connect with and am still interested in what they have to say, show and share.  I have the ones I was fine re-connecting with, but who are always "daring" me to re-post stuff in support of x, y and z cause. And let's face it, I have the friends who I'm just friends with for the entertainment value ... the hot messes, the unstable ones, the inappropriate-status-update-posters, you know the ones, don't judge, you have them too.  And believe me, I'm not judging ... well, I guess I am, but I'm sure I am one of those friends for some people too.  I'm sure some of my FB friends have blocked my updates or share my annoying blog posts with their friends, saying, "Who the hell does this bitch think she is, writing this stuff all the time, sharing it on FB, like any of us care?"  I get that.  I'm fine with it.

I have the newest bestie, who I've only known her for a couple of years now.  But she has been there for me during one of the hardest times in my life.  I have trusted her with my kids, have seen her show up and be there when it counts, and know that she "gets" it, which, while unfortunate, has been hugely comforting.  Although we haven't known each other very long, we have more in common than many of my older friends.  She's that friend you feel like was put in your life for a reason, the one who was meant to fit in just the right part of your life, for just the right reason, at just the right time.

See how lucky I am?  I am surrounded by the best pals a gal could ask for.  I hope all of my friends reading this know who they are and realize how much I love and appreciate them.  What would I do without you?  I'd be an unstable, fashion disaster of a Mother, who always brings Chips Ahoy to the school bake sales.  I love you guys!

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