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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Think Positively..I Am. Yes, Really. C'mon.

Count your blessings, that Lindsey isn't your
daughter.
It seems that there is a lot of bad news lately.  Not necessarily in my own life, but out in the world.  We see it on the news, on this new fangled World Wide Interweb, and in the blogosphere.  I know that there have always been sad stories, and that people have suffered since the beginning of time, but it seems like lately there are a lot of sad people out there.  My friend Karley posted about it on Facebook, just reminding us to count our blessings, and it got me thinking (thanks Karley!)

I'm always on here bitching and complaining about the little things...the things that push my buttons, the little day to day annoyances, and petty inconveniences in life.  Now don't get too excited, that's my shtick, so that's not going anywhere.  Sorry folks.  Plus, you know you like it.  But it did make me think about how even though I have had a shit year, and have come into contact with all the Target Moms out there (that was a funny post too, go check it out, we'll wait. Click here.)  and the boys are always tearing shit up at my house.....someone else definitely has it worse.  Way worse.  And I understand that.  I can appreciate that.  And I feel for them.  So for this post, I am going to think positively for a change.  I'm going to look at the bright side.  What?  You don't think I can do it? 

So today, the boys took what was left of the bag of pretzels, ate them and while looking for more in the bag, dumped the salty crumbs out all over the living room table and rug.  One son ran to find me to rat out his brother for doing it.  As he was crunching on the last pretzel. 

I could look at it like......great.  Another mess to clean up.  Now there are no more pretzels.  Who said they could take the bag off the counter, nevermind eat all of those pretzels without asking.  Now they won't eat dinner.

It's not a person stuffing
their face, but it's cute, right?
But instead.....great.  Now I don't have to worry about finishing the bag off myself.  They were delicious, salty, pumpernickel and onion pretzels that I just bought yesterday that are now gone, but at least I won't scarf the rest of them down myself.  Thanks boys, for saving me some calories.  Although now, I will probably bust open that bag of chocolate chips that are calling my name.  In all seriousness, it could be worse.  I could have NO food. 

See.  Positive.  Suck it.

Last night at work, this gigantic creepy guy, who sounds like he has a mouth full of hermit crabs parked his smelly ass at my desk to "chat".  I'm assuming he was talking to me, because his mouth was moving and noise was coming out, but it's hard to tell because of his crab-filled mouth.  I was praying for some sort of interruption that didn't come until one of my "please help me" emails was received by a co-worker out back who came and said she needed my help.


I didn't want to be rude.  Like this.
I'm sure he sees this all the time.
For a few reasons.
 I could look at it like.....good God, why me?  Are you putting this guy here because of all the negativity I spread on my blog?  Doesn't he know that I am trying to watch Mario Lopez and those adorable dimples of his on EXTRA?  Why does he not remember telling me the same story about getting fired from his last job, LAST WEEK?  And seriously, what the hell IS in his mouth that makes him talk like that?!?!?!

But instead.....good God, lucky me.  I must make this man feel good, listening to his stories, week after week.  I bet no one gives him the time of day 1. because he is big and smelly and creepy  2. because he is impossible to understand and 3. because he is big and smelly and creepy.  I am going to listen to what he has to say and let him know I care about his being fired from his last job.  Again.  Everyone needs to be "heard", right?  Really though, it could be worse.  I could be un-employed. And I could be a big smelly fat man.  Sorry, that wasn't very positive.

In general, I have a healthy and happy family.  I have a roof over my head, and food in my fridge.  Life could be much worse.  And for those of you who have it worse than me, believe me, I get it.  I'm this snarky, bitchy mom blogger to make you laugh.  I am so thankful for what I have, really I am.  I just wish the boys wouldn't dump what I have all over the damn rug.  Happy Hump Day everyone!

You guys have been so good to me about voting, I'm up to number 32 on the list.  Out of 4500 blogs, that's fantastic!  You can vote every day, and I know some of you do, so thank you.  So would you please go ahead and click on that juggling mom's face down there?  Look at her, all "Look at me, juggling the demands of life, with this teeny tiny waist of mine".  Click her right in the face, go ahead, do it!

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6 comments:

Just Another Mom of Twins said...

LMAO! You sure do know how to "turn things aorund"...LMAO!

Bahahahahahahahaha.............

Lisa's Free Stuff said...

Love your blog!

Jenell said...

Hi! Got your comment on my blog, so I thought I would stop by to say hello. I can relate to your smelly man dilemma. I used to work in a bank that was inside of Walmart...smelly people alllll day long. And the smelly ones are the ones that like to sit and talk. :)

You have a great blog! Thanks for stopping by mine! I appreciate it!

Marcy said...

I love your description of the smelly man's voice, that he sounds like he's talking with hermit crabs stuffed in his mouth. I would never have come up with that in a thousand years.

MercyMathews said...

I so get what you mean. With a set of twin boys and another toddler, I often wish we gave birth to them along with a remote control. Something like a package deal :)

I just started blogging to give me some 'me' time during the day while the boys continue to create havoc in the other room!

Kim said...

Thanks for coming by ladies. I am so sorry you can relate to crab mouth, I wouldn't wish that on anyone! Keep thinking positively!!!
Kim